Ephemera Versus Eternity

Sullied Soapbox: Life’s fragility renders it ever-ephemeral; memory, when done right, can be passed down in perpetuity.

It was an honor to work on the instrument of my dear friend Sam. All hail the Crismon King. His old Tele is back in fightin’ condition. In January of 2013, he chose to check out from the lodgings of life. So it goes.

Suicide is a part of life. Life can be ugly. Ugliness at best garners an appreciation for beauty. Feel free to insert some sophomoric understanding of life's dichotomies that underlines extremes while washes out nuance. Many harrowing sessions of gut-spilling resulted in objective self-appraisal/hatred. This was relegated to an immediate/visceral riposte instilled in me for ages. Adios, three decades. Especially when Robin Williams (a personal hero), Chris Cornell, Trish Doan, Chester Bennington, 김종현, 설리, 구하라, and countless others opt out of existence, many ask, "What happened?" When I institutionalized myself last year, suicide was the subject of a few voluntary meetings. The facility employed intelligent and caring workers, so workshops allowed for plenty of guided discussions without needless cross-talk. Unless topics compromised personal safety, responsible discourse took place. For me and my linguistic/intellectual capabilities, I felt the need to explain suicidal depression to those in attendance in that group. It drained me. I faced opposition. I still do not fully condone suicide, but I have an argument for it. Life is loud. It is crushing. It is also heavier than anything we can experience (though we know how mass/weight works). It contains pleasures and pains that must be felt firsthand. The burden of depression is so severe that it can lead one to want death - the oblivion of the mind - to relieve all undue stress. My depression has wanted everything to stop. Everything. To. Stop. Depression wants to end the conflict of Brain v. Brain. For all of the sadness, damage inflicted upon others, utter devastation, heartlessness, basic unkindness, and pitiful remorse, depression lords over all. So does hope. Hope wants better days for all. Take care, folks.